Friday, March 11, 2011

What Every Relationship Must Have: Part 2 In a Series by Somerset NJ Counselor Marty Tashman

The Second Key

In addition to feeling valued, it is key that your partner feel he/she has influence over you.   That doesn't mean you must do everything your partner wants or agree on everything.   It does mean though, that you believe you have been heard.   Each of us wants to feel that a great deal of thought and weight is given to our perspective and that the other person takes our opinions seriously. Letting your partner know that you have given thought to what has been said can go a long way.

Statements such as, "I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I have been thinking a lot about what you said," or "even though I don't agree with you I think you are right about..." are much less likely to produce negative feelings in your partner.   These statements don't mean you completely agree, but that you have given thought to your partner's opinions/ideas, that they are important to you and you have spent some time thinking about them.

Take this Quiz to test the strength of your relationship!  Click Here

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